A Delicate Trail Issue

Monday February 2 2015

Let’s be frank, and address an awkward trail riding issue.

When the weather gets cold enough to form ice in water troughs, when it’s snowing and sleeting and blowing so hard that the wind chill freezes your eyeballs as you’re on the back of a horse, *it* will happen.

Your nose is going to run.

It will form little snot droplets that will hang, then drip, or fly away in the wind, or worse, land on your clothes unless you do something about it. This is precisely the reason why you must have the right kind of winter gloves - to wipe off the snot. Come on now, admit it, you all do it.

(Perhaps other less-rugged disciplines, say proper dressage riders, carry nice hankies or tissues in their pockets, but I venture to say that most endurance riders really aren’t that concerned with conventional snot protocol, and often don't have the spare hands to find the hidden wadded up tissue in some zipped-up pocket while handling a fresh snorty horse on a cold windy day.)


I have some nice riding gloves I use when it’s cool (others might say “cold”). But they’re useless when my nose starts to run.


I have some nice warm Noble Equine gloves that I picked up on sale. I thought they’d be the perfect winter gloves. They are indeed lovely and soft, and they do keep my fingers warm, but I discovered the one thing they aren’t good for is wiping and absorbing the snot off my nose. They just smear it.


My riding partner has the perfect gloves. They are warm and the perfect softness, so they keep her fingers warm and absorb snot. By the time you alternate gloves to wipe the snot, the first glove has dried already. She got them for $1 at a discount grocery store.

Inexpensive warm, soft, absorbent gloves are a great gift for the cold-weather endurance and trail riders on your list!

Kitty Love

February 28 2014

Who woulda thunk the big guy would be such a big softie?

Dudley seemed to love breathing on a soft fluffy cat as much as Audrey Hepburn loved being inhaled by a big warm horse nostril.

Thinking of You

Wednesday October 24 2012

Stormy the Horse has the perfect card you need when you want to tell that certain SomeHorse (or Someone) that you're thinking of him or her.

He'll put the name/s of your choice on your cards.

And don't forget, you can get your own horse in place of Stormy!

http://www.theequestrianvagabond.com/ArtForSale.html

O Noble Beast

Thursday October 4 2012

I think that I shall never see

a beast as noble as is he.

He soars like an eagle with me on his back,

sometimes he's chased by his friend Rushcreek Mac.

He skips up the ridges and glides down the hills

sharing with me a thousand miles of thrills.

He stops on the peaks to take in the view - 

what goes through his brain, I wish that I knew.

He reasons and thinks with a mind so smart -

it's that intelligence of his that sets him apart.

He listens and nickers, he nudges and stares,

it's unique what we have - this communication so rare.

He rears in the air with pals in his pack

and snorts when he's bitten and rolls on his back.

He runs with the herd and teaches them play;

he naps in the sun and sleeps through the day.

He paws up the dust and loves to play tag.

If he had a tail like a dog it surely would wag.

He plays in the rain and dances in snow,

he leaps in the sand; Jose's got Mojo!

I comb his mane and I brush his tail;

at the end of the day I never fail

to hug his head and stroke his face

as I know this beast is full of grace.

 

He's noble and true

and downright smart too,

What else can I say?

I love this Jose

(very noble, yes? kiss the nose, yes?)

Cain't Get No R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Wednesday September 19 2012

(This probably happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…)

I'd come on assignment to photograph the horse race, but ironically, we were only allowed to watch, but not photograph, the finish. Some photographers were quite upset, (especially the one who had his camera roughly confiscated), but I just viewed the whole thing as one of life's comedies, because it was all quite silly; and so I just squeezed myself onto the rail with the rest of the crowd, figuring I might (or might not) get a shot of a horse or two at the finish, shooting through the security guards lining the track every five feet.

I was having a good time, chatting with my amiable fellow horse racing fans, as we crammed shoulder to shoulder on the rail while getting rained on, talking horses.

I was humbly resigned to my limited view of the finish, thanks to the guards and their elbows - and then a big group of people walked onto the turf right in front of me and my group of friends, and they stopped and stood right there. Now I wouldn't even see the finish at all, and isn't that what horse racing fans come from all around the world to see - the winner of the race?

But I didn't yell, "Hey! Bozos! DOWN IN FRONT!" - which I certainly could have. No, I just chuckled at the predicament in which I and my fellow horse racing comrades found ourselves in, "Oh, nooooooooo! Don't stand right there!" The whole situation was, after all, just darn funny.

The instant the last word left my mouth, a whole bunch of things happened at the same time: the dawning realization that nobody else beside me said a word about their obscured view; the erstwhile friendly comrades beside me melted away, shrank back from me as if I had dysentery, shoving me into the spotlight (think the Red Sea parting for Moses); several previously friendly tongues beside me clicked in disapproval; the group of (uniformed, I suddenly noticed) people on the turf turned as one to face me; one prior congenial voice beside me hissed "That's Royalty;"  the elegant woman in the center of the group of (uniformed) bodyguards also turned toward me; another formerly friendly voice that had been beside me and was now backed as far away as the crowd would let her growled, "That's The Princess;" and a dreadful understanding jolted me.

Ohmigod. 

I just dissed The Princess.

I'd hoped - a flashing, slim hope, but I grasped for it, as a drowning woman might - that she wouldn't identify the source of the (humorous!) whine, but thanks to my previously convivial chums who had retreated rapidly away from me, I was left center stage and the Princess' eyes locked onto mine like a missile onto a target. 

"I'm sorry," she said icily. "Are we in your way?"

My eyes bulged to equal size 3 Easyboots, and it was horror that I gasped into my fish-sized gaping mouth, and frog-like croaking that flowed out. I didn't know what to do: cry, make a joke, throw myself at her feet and beg for forgiveness, explain to the once-friendly people beside me that I didn't know it was her! And I never would have done that if I'd known! And I was joking anyway! Doesn't anybody have a sense of humor? Of course the Royalty doesn't have to move! They can stand wherever they want! I prefer looking at the back of Royalty's head to a silly horse race. I like the Princess! I think she's beautiful! I'd like to have talked to her one day (and say something better!). 

But still nothing escaped my hanging mouth; and my moment of fame in the limelight, with all hostile eyes boring into me, stretched out a very, very long time.

In the end, I did the only sensible thing: I RAN. 

I melted into the crowd, ran, ran, ran, down, down, away from my shame, to the far end of the racetrack where the crowd trickled down to individuals - where I found friends, a refuge.

"Ohmigod!!" I screeched, hiding my head under their umbrellas. "You'll never believe what I just did! I just dissed The Princess!!" and I proceeded to tell them my faux pas. "I was going to take off my coat, but I'm already wet and cold; I was going to put on a hat to hide my face, but I don't have one, I would take off my glasses, but I can't see anything - quick, give me your jacket so I look different!"

My friends didn't recoil from me with repugnance, didn't tut-tut, didn't disown me. They laughed at me; they sheltered me; we watched the finish of the horse race from a distance in the rain, just guessing at who won, and we had a good time.

Post Script:

But really, *IF* this event actually did happen, and I'm not sayin' it did, I sincerely (anonymously) apologize to The Princess. 

Also totally unrelated to this post, I recommend a sense of humor as a useful gadget for everybody, from Big People down to the little peons of the planet, so that we can all get along.

Owyhee Photo Booth

Thursday February 2 2012

Remember those photo booths where you and your best friend crowded inside and made funny and funnier faces for a strip of pictures? (do those still exist?)

Best friends Stormy and Tex (aka Ted) went into the Owyhee Photo Booth and mugged for the camera and made a funny strip of photos.

I'm Sorry, Am I Boring You?

Friday January 20 2012

Sometimes even in the middle of play, horses have to stop and yawn.

[slide show here]

Yawns are contagious among humans, and they're contagious among horses. They are even transmitted from horses to humans.

In fact, I bet you started yawning from looking at these photos.

Did you?

Owyhee Signage

Friday January 6 2011

You gotta love some of the Owyhee signs. One can really express oneself with signs. 

The top sign was likely put up by someone who's not particularly fond of government workers. 

But wait! More was added to it later. 

The road is even more closed to a certain family and companions, and they are specifically not allowed to poach or steal. Hmmm.

Then there's the Warning sign, 

which, if you can't read it for all the bullet holes, says, 

"THIS ROAD CROSSES 

US AIR FORCE BOMBING RANGE 

FOR THE NEXT 12 MILES 

OBJECTS MAY FALL FROM AIRCRAFT"

Guess it's best to wear your riding helmet as you drive these twelve miles, if you have one. 

Gotta love Owyhee!

Up To Something

Wednesday October 6 2011

Stormy's up to something...

A Closer Look at Endurance Ride Pull Codes

Monday August 8 2011

Veterinarian Melissa Ribley kindly provided an article in Endurance News a couple of years ago elucidating pull codes for horses and riders on endurance rides:

M – Metabolic
L – Lameness
OT – Overtime
SF – Surface Factors

Then there’s the RO – Rider Option, when there is nothing wrong with the horse and it has been cleared by a vet, but the rider wishes to pull; RO-L, when the horse has been cleared by the vet, but the rider feels there may be some lameness issue, and RO-M, when the horse has been cleared by the vet but the rider feels there may be some metabolic issue.

After my recollection of some old records where a tough-as-nails, highly competitive endurance rider I used to know had an inordinate number of Rider Option pulls (granted, this was before the RO-L and RO-M were implemented), where I knew there was no way this rider would ever willingly quit a ride when the horse was fine, it comes to my mind that there needs to be a little more detailed clarification of the RO codes.

I propose the following additions to the pull codes, and none of these should be ridiculed by other riders (well, except for RO-IC):

RO-ITDC – It’s Too Damn Cold. Well, for some sunny southern California fair weather types, sometimes it is just too damn cold to be out there riding 50 or (you gotta be kidding me) 100 miles when the mercury hovers around 35* and it’s spitting rain or sleet and the wind is howling 35 mph (known as a “35-35 day” or comparatively, even harsher, a “30-30 day” for the tough hides in Wyoming used to this sort of weather nonsense), when one could just as easily circle the next ride on the calendar in 2 weeks’ time a hundred miles and 2000’ of elevation further south, while one is sitting by a fire sipping hot toddies, instead of becoming a miserable popsicle on a horse for up to 24 hours. BEWARE, however, of abusing this code, when Dave Rabe is in the ride. If he is wearing a long-sleeved shirt under his tank top, you may be right, it’s darn cold, but are you man (or woman) enough to pull yourself and your horse with RO-ITDC even wearing your 5 layers of clothing, when he’s riding beside you in shorts?

RO-IGP – I’m Gonna Puke. Now, this does not necessarily separate the girls from the women and the boys from the men. If you feel like you are going to puke, sure, you can probably do it from your horse, but, let’s face it, it is really no fun to do it from the back of a horse moving 7 – 20 mph, and if you really are going to puke, you are probably not doing your horse any favors because you are probably not sitting him correctly (bending over to try to miss both of you), and if you are bending over trying to do this at 20 mph you may likely fall off. (And then you might be able to opt for the RO-BB pull code, see below). There are those who will tough it out, make it to a vet check, and puke there, but it is perfectly acceptable to pull with a RO-IGP, because after all, most of us are in this sport to have fun, and not to compare most mileage accomplished while feeling worst of anybody. I have not yet seen regional awards handed out for this exploit. A few tips on preventative for this pull code: do not eat a bowl of beans the night before a 100. Do not feel obligated to eat several slices of cake or handfuls of cookies at every single refreshment point on a 100 mile trail where volunteers hand out goodies.

RO-HGC – Horse Gone Crazy. This is not only an acceptable pull, but one that may save your life and those of others on the trail. And yes, this can happen to any normally calm horse on any given ride.


RO-BTDT – Been There Done That. This one is a little iffy – I mean, if you start a ride that you have done before, and in the middle of it you decide you’re bored with the trail, you really shouldn’t have entered again, should you?

RO-BB – Broken Bones (yours or the horse, before or during the ride). ‘Nuff said.

RO-HBL – Hopelessly Beyond Lost. If it’s a pitch black night under a thick forest canopy, and there are approximately 40 glowbars covering the entire 100 mile trail, and you and fellow riders have been wandering astray and disoriented for hours, and you have collapsed in an exhausted heap and are content to just stay there and die on the trail, this is a perfectly acceptable pull. (If you are found before you die).

RO-DOD – Disappeared or Dead. This code is only for those who are never found after an RO-HBL ride, and hopefully will never be used.

RO-IC – I’m Cheating. Either you cut trail and know you will be the recipient of a lodged protest; you switched similar-looking horses in the middle of the ride and you know someone is onto you; you carelessly blew others off a trail to get ahead, at much danger to them; or you administered your horse illegal drugs and you see there is a state pee tester at the first vet check who you know by your luck will stick that cup under your horse next time. You better take this pull code. Now.

RO-IJCTIA(AIDHT) – I Just Can’t Take It Anymore (And I Don’t Have To). This could refer to: the lame annoying riders around you (because you, of course, are decidedly not); aches and pains too numerous for massive doses of ibuprofen to take care of; realizing on your first endurance ride that this sport and everybody in it is, truly, insane; you’ve been unceremoniously dumped once, or twice, or more (on the same day); or little combinations of the above RO pull codes. Or, you’ve just had enough today, period. This is perfectly acceptable; we all hit the wall sooner or later.

I believe these additional pull codes will help make clear for nosy people the real reasons riders choose “RO” - Rider Option. Let’s help keep our sport open and honest, so we all have plenty to talk and tease others about. Ride managers can help by typing up little cheat RO note cards for riders to carry with their rider cards and maps for quick and easy reference coming into vet checks.

This photo by Steve Bradley!

**This article was originally published in Endurance News, April 2006