Showing posts with label escape artist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label escape artist. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Dude


Wednesday September 11 2013

He's a rogue. A rascal. Exasperating. Time consuming.  Escape artist. FAT.

You've heard the stories:
How he'd escaped every single pen but one on the ranch. How he destroyed fences so he could escape. How he was always on a diet. How he was always getting into things (trying to escape), particularly in the middle of the nights.

But of course he was always entertaining: the time he bonked Steph in the forehead with a hammer, (he was trying to help her fix a fence he broke); how he rounded up cattle with Connie and Finneas and me and Jose, without a rider; how he always knew when he was in trouble when I yelled at him (his head popped up in the air and his eyes pop-eyed with the expression It wasn't me!; how you could jello-poke his fat deposits on his butt; how he cracked me up making funny faces; how he enjoyed (somewhat) exploring rides; how he was, really, just a good looking dude to gawk at; etc.

You may also remember the big hole he left in my heart, DESPITE EVERYTHING, when Steph sold Dudley to a new home in the wine country of California in May of 2011.

I got to visit Dudley on my travels in California this July at the Smeding's ranch, where Dudley was undoubtedly advising them on the subtle flavorings of their fine wines at Flying Horse Winery. Undoubtedly he also posed for their logo. Or he probably thinks he did.

The prodigal son is meeting us (undoubtedly being chauffeured in a limousine) at the AERC National Championship at City of Rocks this week, and he is coming home!

"I missed him," Steph said. "He's family."

THE DUDE IS COMING BACK!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Naughty



Wednesday October 20 2010

Dudley's soooo naughty.

The Escape Artist had already busted down the wooden fence by leaning on it, and escaped, which was why we had the metal fence panels lining the propped up wooden fence (since we haven't had a chance to fix it yet).

Of course it didn't take him long to bust through that too.


He did it during the night, stepping carefully over everything, and hauling his big large butt to the hay pen where he likely gorged most of the night. His partner in crime, Finneas, didn't escape; he stayed in the Fat Pen like a good boy.

Dudley doesn't look particularly remorseful here, does he. Although he's probably sorry about getting caught, and getting in trouble again.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Monday October 5 2009

It's the out-of-place noise in the middle of the night that rips you instantly awake, makes your pounding heart race in your ears and adrenaline shoot through your body. It's not knowing what's out there in the dark that triggers the sweaty palms, the trembles, the fear.

Thumps. Footsteps. Things knocked over. Something in the brush. Something out there in the dark you can't see. The sound that does not belong.

The Dark is big, overpowering, a heavy presence full of questions, that hides... things.

Out here in the Boonies there are coyotes, and maybe a rare cougar silently skulking through, or other...things, but the noises usually come from horses getting into trouble.

And that inspires a fear all its own.

Once in the middle of the night: a big crashing at the neighbor's. Sounded like a horse got into something and was struggling. I was instantly awake, heart pounding - bad noise, something terrible was going on in the dark. Got up and ran to the phone, called the neighbors. No answer. I didn't want to traipse over there in the dark with my flashlight - didn't know where to look, and didn't really want to see what I might find. Didn't want to scare the neighbors snooping around their place with a flashlight. The sounds finally stopped. (A horse had gotten hung up in a feeder, but had extracted himself miraculously without injury.)

Another night, from the neighbor's: sounds of many running hooves clattering over rocks. Sometimes the herd runs around and plays... but in the dark? Not usual. Then, one horse whinnying. More running around by the herd. The same single horse whinnying over and over. I recognize our horses' voices, but I didn't know this one. Something was wrong. Do I get up, go out with a flashlight and try to find the horses and find what's wrong? If I find what's wrong, can I do anything about it in the dark? Or do I burrow further under the covers, pillow over my head to drown out the noise and hope everything is fine in the morning? (The herd had broken through one of the neighbor's paddocks, and the one horse didn't follow, but nobody was hurt.)

Another night, here, around the house: footsteps on the gravel driveway in the dark. Jolt awake, get up, go out with the flashlight to confront the intruder: it's Dudley, escaped from his hot-wired pen, eating alfalfa (very bad for him!), getting into a pile of his diet pills (will an overdose help?), grazing on green grass. (His pen was PROPERLY hot-wired next morning.)

Another middle of the night, here: some kind of... bumping, metal crash... and footsteps. Another startling wake-up. This time it's Jose! He got out under a jimmy-rigged pipe rail. (His fence got electrified the next day.)

Another night: a gate being pushed. And pushed, and pushed... This time I know exactly what's going on out there. I can hear the baling twine that double ties it to the posts stretching, I hear the big heavy posts straining - I get up, go out with the flashlight, find the 4 panels of the gate almost laying flat on the ground, and one big black bruiser of a horse pushing them further down - Dudley! I have to move the durn horse to a smaller pen for the night. Far enough away from me that I won't hear him as he works on busting out of there, too.

Some of the sounds I can easily identify in the dark: the horses out in one field hitting the irrigation pipe as they walk or trot over it; a metal feed tub being shoved around or turned over (by Dudley); the chain on a gate being worked (Dudley); a gate being lifted (Dudley, with his teeth!).

Dudley is tenacious, like a Jack Russell terrier after a rat in a hole - he'll go for hours and hours. He'll study me as I close and latch a gate, or hook a chain, or tie a knot in a rope, so he can work on undoing it at night, all night - and he's not quiet about it.

I guess here's it's mostly Dudley That Goes Bump In The Night. Better to get out the earplugs and sleep through the spooky nights and face the aftermath in the mornings.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Dudley Speaks



Friday August 28 2009

Dudley would like to issue the following statement from the Owyhee Spa Jail where he's currently incarcerated:

"I would like to apologize for causing such a ruckus (again).

I apologize for scaring some of you from Owyhee County (the "Owyhee Thief" and all) and the upcoming Owyhee Canyonlands endurance ride.

I can understand how my latest escape and escapades led some of you to think there is a thief loose in Owyhee County.

Truly, this is blasphemy. It is slander. I am not a thief. I am hungry.

Therefore I can not help it that a saddle got stuck to my foot (I mean - who makes stirrup sizes just slightly smaller than my front foot, honestly!) while I was following my nose for apple-flavored horse treats after I escaped. I mean - who the heck left treats in the saddlebag anyway??? Oh - wait - I was apologizing.

I meant to say, I really am sorry for all the trouble I got into and caused. (But dang, that alfalfa and those treats sure were good!)

Because of my Good Behavior and Signs of Remorse (I have that look perfected! See above picture), I got released from the smaller Round Pen Jail and put back in the Big Pen Jail. Of course I went straight back to the spot in the fence where I escaped Thursday night and started to let myself out again. I got a nasty shock this time. Are you happy? Don't you feel sorry for me?

If any of you feel, like me, that I have suffered enough by being banished to jail, and put behind an electrocuted fence, and if you feel sorry enough for poor little me (I am little, really, just depends on from which angle or through which lens you view me) and all the trouble I have been in and caused, please come turn off my electricity so I can try to escape again without getting shocked, and get out and eat some more alfalfa and treats because I am so hungry (I promise I will try not to drag somebody's saddle around in the dirt and gravel again).

Or, please when you do come to the Owyhee Canyonlands (your goods are safe, I swear... well, unless you leave them out with treats), show me how sorry you feel for me and come give me big hugs and big treats.

Sincerely,

Escape Artist Extraordinaire,
Dudley"

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Owyhee Thief



Thursday August 27 2009

Wake up this morning - I feel it - something's wrong. Things are amiss. Run outside.

Tack room door - taken off the hinges. Rug askew, equipment strewn - girth, saddle pad on floor. Saddle missing.

Something else out of place.

A big round brown horse. Outside the tackroom. Indulging where he shouldn't be. With a stirrup - and attached saddle - stuck through his foot.

The thief is Dudley. He escaped from his big pen. I knew it was coming - the night before, he'd ripped the white tape down that made part of his fence. It used to be electrified, but we had to move the electricity to the other pen, because Jose figured out how to step right over his fence. Dudley figured out now he could take down his white tape fence. I tied the tape back up, (Dudley watched me) but it was only a matter of time before Dudley got out.

Which he did last night. He must have first cleaned up all the hay laying out between the tackroom and the penned-up Canadian horses. Then he must have gone into the tackroom (not Dudley's fault - the door's been removed long ago, because it broke off its hinges). The bugger must have gone straight for my saddle, which had treats in the Raven bag. Dudley's got a one-track nose - dictated by his obsessed belly!

He pulled the saddle off its rack, and while opening and emptying the Raven bag of treats (I'll give him credit - he did not rip the bag in any way), somehow got his foot stuck in the stirrup, and left the tackroom dragging the saddle (with attached girth, and breast collar) back outside, where he went back to dining on hay by the Canadians (ooh, we are hoping it wasn't alfalfa, that could mean trouble). That's where he was when I saw him this morning.


I was startled to see him out there, shocked to see him with the stirrup (and therefore saddle) stuck around his foot, shocked that he wasn't panicking. I yelled for help, but Dudley still didn't panic (heck, he'd been wearing and dragging the saddle for a while, what's the big deal?), and Steph came out and worked the stirrup off his foot.

Now Dudley's in jail.


He's in the round pen until we can get the electricity back on his pen.

Not that the Escape Artist Extraordinaire hasn't escaped from the round pen once already, (and from everywhere else) and I'm not convinced electricity will keep him in his big pen... which he's escaped from several times anyway, though through different means than the white tape.

What to do with DUDLEY!

Guess I'll be hotwiring some fence this morning.