Monday December 25 2006
ORANGES N’ GRAMMYS
So, speaking of horse accidents, the other night I sliced up an orange into 1/8s to eat, and discovered that, apparently, I haven’t sliced an orange to eat in 7 years, because I end up taking an orange bath, with most of it ending up on my fingers and hands and arms and face, and the counter, instead of down my throat.
I love to eat oranges when somebody peels them for me (I don’t like peeling them, and I usually have no fingernails), and I remember I liked eating them (apparently 7+ years ago) when they are sliced. Only thing is, I forget I can’t bite into anything with my fake front teeth.
So, I had to think a minute before I took a bite of the first slice. Wait – how am I going to do this? Try the front teeth? No, that won’t work. Scrape them off with my good bottom teeth? No, that is WAY too messy, and I can't get everything off that way anyway. Back teeth? OK – but, how do I get the slice stuffed way back in my mouth so I can bite the pulp off with my back teeth? Well, I do so by squirting orange all over my fingers and face, and when I try to bite the pulp off with my back teeth, well apparently my back teeth no longer come together in a good enough bite to rip the pulp off an orange slice.
So now I have orange all over my face and hands. Normally, one might say, forget this, pick up a knife and get it all juicy while trying to slice the pulp off, but my oh my, these were amazing oranges (fresh picked off the tree in the back yard) and I couldn’t pause to go find a knife (and dirty the other silverware in the drawer trying to get a knife out, and drip all over the counter); I just attacked the other orange slices, albeit sloppily, slushily, clumsily.
Orange dripped all over the counter, my shirt, smeared all over my face, ran down my arms, and I still couldn’t get all that pulp ripped off the peels, but man was that a good orange and a very good laugh.
Next time I think I will just wait till somebody peels me an orange!
Anyway, the orange was a late-night snack after visiting my Grammy-winning friends. Yes, I have friends who win Grammy awards! It’s like knowing Bono or something.
My friends The Blind Boys of Alabama performed their Christmas show, Go Tell it on the Mountain. These are the same Blind Boys that perform in my sporadic-every-2-or-5 year show The Gospel at Colonus. They’ve won Grammys for their black gospel albums 4 years in a row, 2002-2005. I knew that all along, but to hear Jimmy on stage humorously promoting their Grammy-winning CDs, it hit me. These are my friends, and they’ve won 4 Grammys! Is that a hoot or what!